The episode opens with Michael, listening to what I am assuming is a walk man. Isn't that what they used in 1995? Anyway, Michael stops when he notices something I think is wanted to resemble fake blood. Really, it looks like chocolate sauce and how Michael assumes it is fake blood is beyond me.
Michael notices something shaking in the bushes. Something! jumps out at him. It's just his seven-year-old sister, Tara. What follows is quite possibly one of the fakest screams in TV history, but I digress. The actress playing Tara is adorable, but the character Tara is really a raging bitch in a seven-year-old's body.
Michael goes on to cry and whine about how Tara gets away with everything and gives his birthday as an example of her raging bitchiness. I'd be pretty pissed off if my sister tripped me and I fell onto a cake, too, but I'd be over it within a couple of...minutes. Not 3 days.
Their father brings home an ugly cuckoo clock. Speaking of ugly, the mom's glasses are HUGE. I'm talking 70s grandmother huge. Michael is five and can't not touch the obviously antique cuckoo clock so Dad shits a brick and says for no one to touch it.
That night, Michael overhears Dad telling Tara not to touch it again, and if anything breaks on it, he'll blame her. Michael gives an obnoxious "YES!" Methinks he is up to something, but I'm not quite sure. At midnight, Michael gets up and goes to the clock. When it pops open on the hour, he grabs breaks the neck. Honestly, it's actually kind of creepy.
When Michael wakes up the next morning-SURPRISE! It's his birthday. Again. He is baffled. He knows one thing though! Tara won't ruin THIS birthday! Shocker #1: she does.
Michael tries telling his parents that he is stuck in a time warp. They ask if he's sick. He sighs exasperatedly, like his parents are stupid because they don't believe that they are stuck in a time warp. He has a ridiculous dream that I still laugh about.
He wakes up the next morning as a six-year-old. He runs into the living room and you hear twelve-year-old Michael voice-over "It's not here!" Then six-year-old Michael feels the need to repeat this sentiment out loud. Idk.
At his sixth birthday party, Michael says "Fuck this" and leaves his guests, leaving to go downtown to find that darn antique store. Some random creepy guy asks Michael for the time and the camera keeps cutting to him in a way that you would think, "Hey this guy must be significant!" but after Michael's dad shows up, it turns out that it was nothing more than a "Hey this guy must be a pedophile!" type deal.
Dad takes Michael back home. Wash, rinse, repeat scene where Michael is trying to tell them he's stuck in a time warp at the end of his 12th birthday party.
Michael wakes up again. He's a toddler. His father mentions the antique store and he shows his agreement by shaking the crib and laughing.
At the antique store, the owner takes Mom and Dad to look at something. They leave their toddler son chilling in the front of the store in his stroller, completely out of sight.
Michael slips out of the stroller and toddles to the clock. He climbs onto some things that are stacked next to it and in the process, kicks something that hits the year 1988 off the clock. This is significant, as the camera pans onto it. He un-breaks the birdie's neck.
Michael is suddenly twelve again but-SURPRISE-no Tara. He claims he will go back in time and bring her back. I don't actually believe this, and I don't think we're suppose to, given the smarmy grin on the kid.
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